Christmas Fairytale

Lots of bloggers have been putting their own spin on classic Christmas songs. I thought I’d have a go at it too, although I have possibly done a terrible thing in messing with this one. Tracey from The Anxious Dragon and I recently agreed that Fairytale of New York by The Pogues is the best ever Christmas song. If you haven’t heard it, it will be hard to get the rhythm, so you can listen to it first by clicking: here.
This is my version (With humblest apologies to all lovers of the song):
Fairytale of the Disorganised Christmas Shopper
It was Christmas Eve babe,
In the toy store,
An old man said to me, “We’re nuts to be here.”
And then he cursed the air
As he joined the long line
I turned my face away
And dreamed about wine.
Got in a lucky one;
Efficient line of mums.
I’ve got a feeling
I chose the right one.
So please remember
The presents next year
I can see a better time
When Christmas Eve is fun.
They’ve got dolls, they’ve got trolls,
They’ve got gifts blue and pink.
Gendered toys drive you crazy
But you can’t get a drink.
When I entered the store
Sometime so long ago
You promised me
Lines here would never move slow.
You were handsome.
You were pretty.
Said you’d go to the city
To buy all of the presents
A whole month before.
How could you forget it?
Now we both regret it
And I’m in this line
On this Christmas Eve night.
The kids in their Peppa Pig pjs
Will still be wide awake,
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day.
You’re a punk!
You’re an arse!
But the line’s moving fast
So at least I’ll be done before old Santa comes.
I’m losing my head,
Can’t wait for my bed,
Let’s toast happy Christmas
When shopping has passed.
The kids in their Peppa Pig pjs
Will still be wide awake,
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day.
I could have been someone.
Well so could anyone.
This store stole all my dreams;
They’ve turned to apathy.
Life has no meaning.
This line is all I know.
But wait! I’ve reached the end!
And I can finally go.
The kids in their Peppa Pig pjs
Will still be wide awake.
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day.


9 thoughts on “Christmas Fairytale

  1. Haha – awesome! ‘Got on a lucky one/Efficient line of mums’ – brilliant! Christmas Eve shopping is hellish. Great idea to link the actual song – probably should have done that! It is, as you say, a difficult rhythm if anyone is not familiar with it. Happy Christmas! #coolmumclub

  2. Haha! Great. I have done all of my Christmas shopping online this year and so avoided any queues (though, I do have to run out to the gate amidst barking dogs several times a day and endure a meltdown when I come back in and none of the parcels are for Tyger so there are down sides).

    1. Online shopping is the greatest. Although I’ve found that every time a parcel arrives, Pickles wants to open it straight away which makes everything a bit more difficult!

  3. Ha ha, love it! I’m sure Tracey will be cool – you left the all important line untouched 😉 great version – thanks for linking it at #coolmumclub x MMT

    1. Thanks x To be honest I actually quite like Christmas shopping – picking gifts for people and all that. I just can’t stand crowds!! x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *