The Perfect Generation

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I read another Facebook post along the lines of “Like this if you grew up in a time when parents didn’t find it necessary to spend time with their kids, everybody only ever ate gruel, and the government didn’t tell people they had to wear seat belts, and you turned out just fine.”

I assume that these little passive aggressive pieces of wisdom are supposed to show that anybody who believes in anything crazy like scientific research, or longitudinal studies, should just have a long hard think about kids today.

Aside from the arrogance of assuming that you are the pinnacle of human development, I don’t understand why anybody would wish that their generation never be bested. Why would you wish for anything other than an ongoing improvement of humanity?

Look at the world around you, people! I sure hope that this isn’t the best we can do.

That’s not to say that I don’t think there have been some exceptional generations before, as well as exceptional people within those exceptional generations. I have known some of those people personally. I have also read about some of those people. The wit of Oscar Wilde. The selfless dedication of Florence Nightingale. The inspired genius of whoever thought of roasting cocoa beans.

I also think that my generation is pretty great. There are plenty of people around today who are doing whatever they can to make the world a better place, be it locally or globally. And I think that my kids are pretty great. My husband and I are doing our best to make sure that they reach their full potential in all aspects of their lives.

Despite this, I sincerely hope that each new generation is the greatest generation. I hope that the next generation is smarter, healthier, happier, and better at fixing up all the problems caused by the generations that came before.

I hope that all of the really intelligent people who have dedicated their life to studying areas like the brain, nutrition, and childhood development have been able to come up with useful recommendations to help make this the case.

Moreover, I hope that if in twenty years some research comes out that shows that some aspect of my parenting was not ideal, I don’t get all defensive about how I was raised or how I raised my children, because look I’m great and they’re even better.

I hope that I am able to be grateful that science is continuing to make breakthroughs in order that we, as a collective humanity, are able to learn and and change and grow.

And I hope that if we do one day reach perfection, that the perfect generation is not so snarky on Facebook.

A Bit Of Everything
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7 tips for teaching gratitude at Christmas

It’s official. The marketers of Christmas have taken October. My two year old has already asked for our Christmas tree to be put up. Multiple times. Every time we go to the shops there seems to be more and more Christmas stuff.

I’d like this not to be a thing. But since it is a thing, I’ve been thinking about how to use this whole ridiculously long festive build up as a chance to teach gratitude rather than gluttony.

7. Notes in your Advent calendar

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You know Advent calendars? You take a little chocolate out for every day of Advent as you count down the four weeks leading up to Christmas. We’ve got a wooden one so we can fill it ourselves and avoid the supermarket variety, which seem to become ever tackier. My husband loves it and has suggested we keep it out year round to count down to other things. Birthdays. The new Game of Thrones season. The start of Advent.

I’m probably not going to keep it out all year, but I am happy to prolong its time on the wall for this one. During Advent as you take something out, put a little note with a word about what you were grateful for today. Maybe it was sunshine, or friends, or dinner. Then use the days following Christmas to open each of the windows again and rediscover those moments of gratitude.

6. Donate to a wishing tree

Lots of stores set up trees that you leave presents under for children who would otherwise miss out at Christmas. Talk to your children about this. Let them choose something that they would like to receive themselves and gift it to someone else. Talk about how that child might feel opening the present. Talk about how your child feels giving the gift. Let your child explore the spirit of giving.

If you have time, you might also like to do some volunteering as a family. Lots of services need extra help around the Christmas season.

5. Make gifts, cards, and wrapping paper

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As much as possible, encourage your children to make their gifts, cards, and wrapping paper. Show them that you don’t have to buy everything, and sometimes the most special gifts are those that are homemade with love.

4. Write thank you notes

If your children receive presents from other family or friends, a nice idea is to save the wrapping paper with a note as to who it was from. Then your children can use the paper later to write thank you notes. Re-using the paper, a craft activity, encouraging gratitude, thanking someone for a gift – so many wins.

3. Learn to say no

If you get your children everything on their wish lists, odds are they will be less grateful than if you just get them one or two thoughtful gifts. It’s better to have something that will be treasured and played with (or, better still, read!), than a roomful of toys that are unwrapped and forgotten.

2. Nurture traditions that don’t revolve around presents

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This should really go without saying, but sometimes children (and their parents) can get caught up on the materialistic side of the season.

If you are a Christian, you might want to find a family service to attend to listen to the story of Christmas, or find a local carols event.

Spend time with family and friends. Try to make these events joyful and stress-free. Make them times that your children will cherish.

Think of other little things that you can do to build your own traditions. Maybe you spend a day decorating a tree, or watch a particular movie together, or go for a drive to see some Christmas lights. We always read Twas The Night Before Christmas together on Christmas Eve.

Whatever you choose, try to keep the focus and excitement around these things.

1. Model gratitude

If you find yourself complaining about the socks your partner got you, or the fact that you have to spend Christmas day with all the extended family, or that you have to make a big Christmas lunch – stop. Not only are you making your own life miserable, but you are modelling that for your children.

Be grateful that someone has thought of you, that you have people to spend time with, that you have food to cook. Be grateful that you have the opportunity to make Christmas special for someone else. And you might just find that you make it special for yourself too.

 What would you add? Do you find it hard to live gratitude at Christmas? Do you hate me for writing a Christmas post in October?


Happy Mama Happy Baby
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Top 7 Books to Read to Newborns

This week the eggs that our doves Montezuma and Daria have been sitting on finally hatched. So now there are tiny doves in a nest in our garden. The new parents are very protective of their babies and so we’ve only been able to catch little glimpses when they pop their heads up to feed. We’re looking forward to watching them learn to fly. I wonder if their mum and dad will feel any pangs of sadness to see them go.

In honour of the new arrivals, and also because several people have asked me questions about this recently, for the second week of Booktober, I’m sharing our Top 7 Books to Read to Newborns.

You may have heard that you should start reading to your new baby from the very start. It can feel strange to read to such a tiny little person. If you need some tips for reading to babies, check out this post. Even if you feel a bit mad doing it at first, reading to aloud to your baby can quickly become a special part of each day.

1. Oh! The Places You’ll Go! by Dr Seuss

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When my bump was just starting to show when I was pregnant with Pickles, my hairdresser asked me if I had started reading to my belly. I had been very sick and it hadn’t even occurred to me yet. It wasn’t my first twinge of parental guilt; taking medication for my morning sickness had taken care of that. But it was close.

I went straight from the hairdresser to the bookshop and bought Oh! The Places You’ll Go! And I started reading it to the bump. Every single night.

Whenever I got to the part where it says “Kid, you’ll move mountains” I’d get teary and have to recompose before going on. Pregnancy hormones will do that. Imagining your unborn child out in the big wide world moving mountains will do that.

This is what makes this book a good one for new or expecting parents. When you are reading to a newborn, the content is as much for yourself as it is for them. A big part of it is them just hearing your voice. They become familiar with it, and it soothes them.

But babies can also be sensitive to emotion. When you are reading this, your voice will be infused with your love and hopes for them. It is a beautiful bonding experience.

It is also a book that will grow with them. It is often given as a graduation gift because the message is as applicable for a grown child as it is for a newborn.

But it will always be treasured in our home as the book that I first read to my bump.

2. Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes by Mem Fox and Helen Oxenbury

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Mem Fox is a master of writing for babies and young children. Her use of simple, but clever, rhyme and repetition in this book make it easy for the reader, and soothing for the listener.

As your baby gets a bit older, this book is also excellent for introducing the concept of differences and similarities. You can use it as a starting point to talk about looking beyond what makes your child different from other people and thinking about what they have in common.

I loved reading this book to both of my kids when they were tiny babies because you can touch their fingers and toes over and again as the story goes on, and then give them three little kisses on the tip of their nose at the end. Not only does this help with building language development, but also with body awareness, which is a key area of development for a newborn. Of course, it is also perfect for nurturing your bond.

Helen Oxenbury’s pictures are just beautiful. They are bright and simple for little eyes, but also contain enough detail to create talking points. When you are reading beyond the text, and using your reading behaviour to engage your little person, the pictures open up a whole world of new stories. This gives you even more reason to return to the book over and over as your child grows.

3. I Love You So by Marianne Richmond

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I borrowed this book from the library when Pickles was a few weeks old. I read it to him over and over and then decided that I needed to buy it for him so I could keep on reading it to him.

The book describes how much a parent loves their child; as gigantic as a great lion’s roar, as silly as a puppy dog’s kiss, and as brilliant as each sparkling star. When I was a new mother reading it to my tiny baby, it was as if Marianne Richmond had reached into my brain and pulled out exactly what I was feeling about my little boy and turned it into a sweet little rhyme. I too would love my child forevermore, undeniably. I think most new parents would feel the same way. With its big, bold pictures, it would make a great gift for a baby shower.

I can also imagine giving this book to a grownup child who was about to go off travelling. I imagine myself pulling it out in twenty years time when one of my kids announces they are off on a grand adventure and reading them this bit:

Do you love me just as much
When I’m far from home?
Is your loving still the same
In distant lands I roam?

I love you near or far.
I love you high or low.
My love is there with you
Wherever you may go.

Now I’m getting sad imagining my babies far away from me. Although I’m proud that in my imagined future they are independent and adventurous. Good for you, imagined grown children of the future.

When I initially borrowed the book from the library it was a board book version. The copy I bought was a hardcover and the words and pictures are slightly different. For newborns it really doesn’t matter because you’re just reading to them rather than them being active participants, but I usually prefer board books for babies because they can hold them and chew them with much less damage. The hardcover makes a nice gift though, and if it survives the everything-in-the-mouth phase you too can pull it out when your own imagined grown children of the future go off on adventures.

4. Kissed By The Moon by Alison Lester

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This book is simply magical to read to babies. There are big, bright, beautiful pictures and not too many words. The words that are there read as a list of wishes for a new baby. It is a particularly good one for people who are in touch with nature and would want their baby to share in their love of all things outdoors.

It makes an excellent bedtime book, as it’s ending hopes that the baby will: “grow sleepy at sunset, sing to the stars, and drift into dreams. And may you, my baby, be kissed by the moon.” It gets me in the mood for a sleep every time I read it. Or that might just be that I’m always in the mood for a sleep these days and don’t need too much reminding. Either way, it’s a lovely one to read to your little person just before bed.

As your child grows older, this is also a great book for language development. Books like this where the pictures are the dominant feature are perfect for exploring with your older baby or toddler as they begin to learn new words. You could talk about different seasons and weather, different plants and fruits, or different places to visit. On many of the pages there are different creatures and animals to discover, so you could turn the reading into a game.

The more active a participant your child is able to be in the reading process, the more beneficial the reading will be for them, so this is a perfect book to share.

5. You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano Love and Satomi Ichikawa

DSCF4891This is a very cute book for a parent to share with their new baby, or any small child. The pictures show a day in the life of a parent and baby bear. They play inside and out, they eat, they have bath time, and finally the parent tucks the child into bed. The story arc in the pictures makes it a great book to share with a child at the end of the day because you can talk about all of the things that your own child has done throughout the day that the little bear is doing too. Using a book in this way to relate to your child’s own life is an important and useful way to make story time more interactive and enriching. It can also be a helpful part of a bedtime routine as the little bear ends up safe and snug in bed at the end.

In terms of the text itself, the authors use rhyme to juxtapose the role of the parent with the role of the child. The parent is the steady source of constancy and love in the life of their child, and the child adds a new brightness and wonder in the life of their parents.

I am your favourite book;
you are my new lines.
I am your night-light;
you are my starshine.

The use of rhyme and repetition make it an easy one to read over and over to a baby, and parents will no doubt find the words resonating with their own experience. You don’t just read the words, you actually tell your child, “I am your good-night kiss; you are my I love you.” It is a beautiful sentiment to share with your little person.

6. Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney and Anita JeramDSCF4452

The Nutbrown Hares and I did not get off to a good start. I had heard only ever such fabulous things about this book and so I opened the copy of the board book that I had ordered online with much anticipation.

The first thing that happened was the board book gave me a paper cut. It takes a special kind of skill to get a paper cut from a book that is especially designed for little people to play with and chew on safely to their heart’s content. I thought the Nutbrown Hares must have it in for me.

Then, as I began to read, I thought that I actually wouldn’t put it passed that Big Nutbrown Hare to do something malevolent. He seemed trapped in an unhealthy cycle of one-upmanship with his very young son. It was pretty clear there were underlying psychological issues. My husband agreed. He thought, and still thinks, that Big Nutbrown Hare was a real jerk.

I got to the last line though, and realised that that’s what has made this book so wildly popular. “I love you right up to the moon – and back.” Everyone says it now. It’s on cards, t-shirts, and mugs. There is now a tv show based on the book. The more I read it to Pickles, and later to Pords, the more I came round to this enormously sweet core. Big Nutbrown Hare can’t help it if he’s hyper-competitive. He’s probably trying to make up for that one time he lost to the tortoise. In the end he really does love his son more than his son can even begin to imagine – a feeling most parents will relate to. I’ve become such a fan that I even included Big Nutbrown Hare in my list of the Top 7 Fathers from Children’s Books.

This is a great book for new parents to read to their new babies, as they struggle to find ways to describe just how much they really love this incredible new person who has entered their lives. As your child grows, it is a great book to read together. Pickles loves acting it out: stretching out his arms as wide as they can go, reaching them up as high as they can reach, and most especially tumbling upside down with his feet in the air. And now that he can say “I love you thiiiiisssss much” I reckon that I actually do love this book right up to the moon and back.

7. The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter

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Beatrix Potter wrote The Tale of Peter Rabbit in 1902. More than a century later, Peter remains a much loved figure of childhood. My children have been gifted many books, clothes, and toys featuring Peter and his friends. A particularly treasured gift for Pickles from his grandparents when he was a newborn, was the complete set of original tales.

When Pickles was a newborn and we had hours together, just the two of us, I would read him these stories. We read all of them in those precious first newborn months, often while he was happily lying on the change table so I could stand and hold the books at his height.

The stories are charming, the characters endearing, and the language exquisite. They are wonderful because they are short enough to read through in one or two sittings even with a small baby. Plus they are interesting enough for the person doing the reading.

Peter Rabbit and friends are an enduring part of Pickles’ day to day adventures and imaginings. He often now brings me one of the books to read with him.

If you are close to someone who is having a baby and want to get them something special that will remain special to the child as they grow, a collection of books is a beautiful idea.

So, those were my favourites to read to my babies when they were newborn. What were your favourites?

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Playground trolls

I think I got trolled at the playground.

I was sitting in the middle of the playground with baby Pords. Pickles was running around with some friends. Climbing, sliding, swinging, spinning, and running. And running. And running. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t keep up with him while I had Pords with me.

But I didn’t want to keep up with him. He was having fun. My eyes were on him the whole time, the playground was one of those newly designed numbers, with all soft fall surfaces fully enclosed inside a fence, and I knew he was able to use all of the equipment unassisted; he’d been here plenty of times before.

Two women stood near me and started talking very loudly about Pickles. That he was very small. What was his mother thinking letting him play by himself? Anything could happen. Much too small. Needs his mother. Dangerous.

Now, as it happens, I’ve been reading quite a lot of academic articles about toddlers and risk taking lately. When I’ve read a bit more I’ll write a proper post about it. So far I’ve learnt that while risk taking can lead to trips to the emergency room when the carer has not properly assessed and managed the risks beforehand (and many times even when they have), it is also linked to gross motor development, as well as other social and cognitive development, such as the ability to independently assess risk and make decisions.

I know that a big part of the reason that Pickles is a good climber is because we have let him climb. I also know that, in letting him climb things from a young age, we have run the risk that he would fall.

I think so far we’ve tread a pretty good line on this one, but when I heard the women talking I immediately questioned every parenting decision I’d ever made. I quickly picked Pords up and rushed over to Pickles. “Are you ok? Do you need help?” He looked mortified and gave me a little push on the leg. “Shoo mummy!”

Still I hovered. Nervous. Eyes darting back to my judges.

Now that they had smoked me out, one of them strode straight over. “He’s very brave for someone so little isn’t he?” Her insincerity was sickly sweet. I wondered what pearls of wisdom from her own brilliant parenting career she was about to bestow. “Now, I personally would never have children of my own. There’s too much sadness in the world. But you’ve got to be careful. Anything could happen.”

What. The. Actual. Bazoolies.

Now I don’t object to people without kids having an opinion on parenting in general, or even on my parenting specifically. But just like online comment, there is a time and a place and a tone.

If you spit venom anonymously online just to get a stir, people might label you an internet troll.

And if you hang out inside an enclosed children’s play area without children of your own, just to criticise other people’s parenting, I might just label you a playground troll.

So what do you think? Were they just playground trolls or were their criticisms legitimate? How do you manage risks with your kids?

The Dad Network
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Liebster Award Nomination

The first connection I made when I started my blog, was with the lovely Anne from Mehrling Muse so I’d like to thank her for nominating me for this Liebster Award. I blogged my responses to a similar award last week and nominated a bunch of blogs for that one, so I’m going to pass this nomination on to some other blogs that I have recently discovered, and some that I just love so am happy to link to them even if they fall outside the criteria, or have already been nominated. So, here we go again:

The Liebster Award

Liebster AwardThese awards only have a few rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you with a link back to his/her blog
  2. Answer the questions asked by the nominator
  3. Nominate bloggers with under 500 followers
  4. Create 10 questions for the nominees to answer.

 

  1. What caused you to start blogging?

As a new parent I found myself reading academic literature on childhood development. I thought that given I was reading these papers anyway, I may as well record what I found out for interested friends.

I was also struck by the overwhelming love I felt for my babies and was interested in having it on record. I want to know if this love alters, or if people just go on living the rest of their lives with their hearts about to burst.

2. Do you like music, and if so, what is your first choice for listening?

I love music and my taste is fairly eclectic.  Prior to having kids, most of my disposable income went on purchasing new albums, or going to see live music. My first choice for listening depends on my mood and the time of day. All things being even, I usually prefer rock music. But I have become increasingly partial to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

3. Did you have a favorite childhood toy?

I had a yellow teddy bear called Jack. I told Jack about my day before I went to sleep each night. My brothers knew that the easiest way to upset me was to take Jack and hide him. Last year my mum told me that Jack had never been my bear at all; he had been given to my older brother when he was a newborn and I had inherited him with a bunch of other toys as second borns often do. I was kind of devastated. So, I’ve made sure Pords has plenty of special toys of her very own.

4. What are your natural abilities?

I think the natural ability that has been the most useful to me over the years is not to get too hung up on things. Little things don’t tend to worry me, and I am pretty good at seeing the best in people and situations. I’m always telling my husband that if you aren’t doing something with a song in your heart, it’s better not to be doing it at all.  It does mean that the housework doesn’t get done as often as perhaps it should, but it does mean that when it gets done it’s done with a flourish.

5. What person/s had the most influence on your life?

In the interests of not offending anyone in my dear family or friendship circle, I’m going to say: Mary Robinson, the Coen Brothers, Eleanor Roosevelt, Stanley Kubrick, Kurt Vonnegut, Isabel Allende, Dave Grohl, and the Beatles.

6. Do you have a favorite type of food?

Peppermint ice cream. Oh, when I read this back I realised it said type of food. So, I guess I’ll go with iced desserts. Preferably peppermint flavoured.

7. What is your exercise of choice?

I could walk for hours. I like the quiet and solitude of walking on my own, especially at dusk.

8. Do deadlines spur you on or intimidate you?

Deadlines spur me on. I always work more productively when I know something has to be done.

9. What makes you laugh?

Lots of little things make me laugh. I can never stay mad for long at my husband because he always knows just the right facial expression or tone of voice to make me laugh. My toddler has already started to pick this up too. I’ve got no chance in this family!

10. Are you an early bird, a night owl, or something in between?

I am definitely a night owl. I can be so grouchy in the mornings, which is not great for life with little children. I think I’m getting better, but maybe I’ve just adjusted my expectations!

I nominate:

ironwomom.wordpress.com

mumintheknow.wordpress.com

leakingmommybrains.blogspot.com.au

shanieherbert.wordpress.com

pinkscharming.com

rhymingmummy.weebly.com

thelazyhousewife.co.uk

Questions for my nominees:

  1. What was your favourite book as a child?
  2. If you could meet a character from a book, who would it be?
  3. If you were a genre of music, what would it be?
  4. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
  5. Name some of the things that bring you joy.
  6. What time of the day do you find most productive for blogging?
  7. What is your favourite season?
  8. What song (or songs) would be on the soundtrack of your life right now?
  9. If you could live one day of your life again, which would you choose?
  10. If you could travel to any moment in history, where would you go?

 

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Listening actively to a toddler

I was feeding Pords. Pickles ran inside and said “Chicken is hurt back.”

Oh no! The chicken has hurt her back! That’s terrible news!

But wait a minute. We don’t have a chicken.

“Mummy come and help me! Chicken is hurt back!” My mind was racing. What on earth was he on about.

He repeated it again. And again. And again. But I was distracted with the baby. I was hearing him, but not really listening. I switched on and finally I got it.

“Mummy come and help me! Digging is hard work!”


Louise from Little Hearts, Big Love runs a weekly Blog Hop called From the Mouths of Babes. Parents share stories about something their children have said. The posts are always adorable. Kids can be hilarious, or profound, sometimes without realising it.

Pickles says plenty of adorable things too. But our little chicken/digging interaction this week got me to thinking about what it means to really listen to a toddler.

For many years, I have taught the skills of active listening to law students at university. When students are new to active listening techniques, sometimes the reflection, or the paraphrasing, or the questioning, can sound forced. They are dubious about its efficacy. And sometimes my husband will say that he’d prefer some good old fashioned passive listening, when he gets sick of all the verbal nods. (Pickles already does a fabulous mmmhmm).

But I’ve seen how effective it can be and I notice in myself the difference that it makes when I am an engaged listener. And now that I spend a large part of my day conversing with someone who is still learning how to talk, I have found it to be even more useful.

When Pickles says something, I repeat it back to him to check that I have understood. I ask him questions to seek clarification and to get more information. I name his emotions. Listening actively to a toddler can be frustrating, and hard work, but it is definitely the best way for me to understand what he is trying to say. If I am distracted while I am listening to him, or not really tuned in, I understand much less of what he is saying. He gets frustrated and discouraged and it is worse for both of us in the end.

He’s right. Digging is hard work. But at least if your mum understands what you’re trying to tell her, she can come outside and help.

Little Hearts, Big Love
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Our Top 7 Dinosaur Books

For my first “Booktober” list, I am sharing our Top 7 Dinosaur Books. We love dinosaurs. And obviously we love books. So dinosaur books are the greatest.

1.Tyrannosaurus Drip by Julia Donaldson and David RobertsDSCF4752

Julia Donaldson is an absolute favourite in our house. Her rhymes are always a rollicking ride. There are generally scary bits and funny bits. In this one, I love the line:

And they muttered, “What a shame that bridges aren’t invented yet.”

Pickles doesn’t think that bit is as funny as I do. I think that’s a good sign in a children’s book. I enjoy reading it over and over, which is handy since he requests it over and over.

In Donaldson’s books, the baddies usually get their comeuppance. Here, the bad guys are mean tyrannosauruses, who like to pick on the gentle duckbills:

And they shouted, “Up with hunting!” and they shouted, “Up with war!” And they shouted, “Up with bellyfuls of duckbill dinosaur!”

Incidentally, this is kind of fun to yell out when you’re feeling grumpy. Teaching little people to vent their anger by stomping around like a tyannosaurus isn’t such a bad idea. There are definitely much worse things they could be doing.

The book tells the story of a little duckbill dinosaur egg that ends up in a tyrannosaurus nest. The little duckbill is sad that he is such an outsider in what he thinks is his real family. Until he finds out who he really is.

Books for kids are about so much more than teaching reading. This one has a great message, dinosaurs, and lots of talking and learning points. We love it.

2. Dinosaurs Love Underpants by Claire Freedman and Ben CortDSCF4765

Pickles loves this book, but I think he will love it even more when he has truly discovered pre-school humour. Underpants. Hilarious.

This book answers the question of how the dinosaurs were wiped out. They got too obsessed with underpants and went to war over them. I’m pretty sure it’s historically accurate. Even if it’s not, the book is clever, funny, and colourful.

The amusing pictures are a particular highlight of this book. Without reading the text you can tell some wonderful stories with this one. Pickles also likes to find all of the things that the little boy at the end has in his room that are the same as things we have. It’s always fun when you can make connections like that.

I think this book will be one that can be enjoyed from different perspectives over a number of years.

3. How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You? by Jane Yolen and Mark TeagueDSCF4776

This book is a very sweet one to read with your own little dinosaur. It talks about some of the ways a small child can be defiant or infuriating during the day, and then about all of the moments of love that more than make up for the rest.

Of course, Pickles denies ever doing any of the naughty stuff. And to be honest, he’s right for the most part. Maybe we’re in for more of it as he gets older… hopefully he’s not learning anything too bad from the book! But, he is fascinated by the behaviour of the “dinosaurs” in the book, and he always has a big smile when it becomes clear that the mums and dads will always love the little dinosaurs, no matter how cross they get about certain things.

The book has the secret ingredients of rhyme, repetition, and great pictures. I particularly get a kick out of how well dressed and put together the mums and dads are the whole way through. That to me seems the greater fiction than the children looking like dinosaurs. But, the children as dinosaur element is entertaining for little dinosaur fans, and the proper names of the dinosaurs are hidden in the pictures to sneak in a bit of extra learning and fun.

4. Peppa Pig Stomp and Roar by Neville Astley and Mark BakerDSCF4781

I’d always rather my kids be playing outside. Or building Lego. Or reading books. But that’s not to say that Peppa Pig hasn’t saved my sanity on multiple occasions. She brings five minutes of joy to Pickles’ day and five minutes of peace to mine. We love that little pig.

So when we discovered she was in a book (with dinosaurs no less) and buttons along the side to press, it goes without saying that we were very excited.

The story follows an episode of the television show in which Miss Rabbit drives all the regulars to explore Grampy Rabbit’s Dinosaur Park. The pictures are big and bright, and the noisy buttons along the side add an extra element of interaction.

It’s also very fun to do your best Brian Blessed as Grampy Rabbit impression.

5. This Little Dinosaur by LadybirdDSCF4743

This is a great book for babies. Board books are perfect for teaching little hands to turn pages. This book is also short, has big, bright, bold pictures, as well as parts to touch and feel, making it attractive for the very youngest of readers. At eight months, Pords will sit on her own and look through this book quite happily.

It has fun rhymes to match the pictures and it asks the reader to think of a name for a dinosaur at the end. This makes it fun for toddlers and so for us, it is a great one to read when both Pickles and Pords want to read a book at the same time because it can be enjoyed by babies and toddlers.

6. Dinosaurs! A Prehistoric Touch-And-Feel Adventure by Jeffrey Burton and John Bendall-BrunelloDSCF4526 (1)Before he could talk, if we asked Pickles which book he wanted to read he would invariably roar. Not that we needed to ask. This touch-and-feel book about dinosaurs was his absolute favourite. For a little person the book is just so interesting. Aside from the fact that there are dinosaurs, which on its own is a huge draw card, this is book is an amazingly interactive, tactile experience. There are things to feel, and flaps to lift, there are things to turn, and there is a big pop out dinosaur. The pictures are bright and colourful, and the text is written in simple rhyme.

Looking at it from a parent’s perspective, it is also great for language development. There is simple, descriptive vocabulary that is enhanced by the touch-and-feel aspects of the book. So, for example, children can see the dinosaur’s long neck stretch, as the page folds open, or they can run their fingers along the bumpy scales. There is also more complex vocab in the names of lots of different dinosaurs. I learnt a thing or two myself, although I could still brush up on pronunciation!

It is sure to be a hit with any older babies or toddlers.

7. That’s Not My Dinosaur… by Fiona Watt and Rachel WellsDSCF4498I’m not generally a huge fan of overly structured sensory play. Mainly because I’m a bit rubbish at it. But I make an exception when it comes to books.

You might have noticed that several books on this list have an element of touch and feel. Touchy feely books are perfect for engaging babies and toddlers. Making sure reading time is fun is a great way to nurture an early love for books.

Touch and feel books are also brilliant for language development. Learning what the word “rough” means, is much easier if while you are hearing the word, you are also feeling something that is rough.

Children hear and they forget. They see and they remember. They do and they understand. The more you can get them involved in the reading process, the more they will get out of it.

There are a whole range of books in this series and we have a lot of them. They’re all great, but what little kid doesn’t especially love dinosaurs!?

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Worst. Parents. Ever.

You asked for one and I said: “Fine,”
“One but then no more.”
But then you smiled so sweetly
And said you’d rather four.

I said “No. You don’t need more,
That one will more than do.
Try these carrot sticks instead,
Or a strawberry or two.”

You shook your head and stomped your feet
And said I was the worst.
Your little face went bright red,
You looked like you would burst.

But I was standing firm this time,
Mummy can be tough.
I let you have that one,
And that one was quite enough.

So you tried a different trick
And called out for your dad.
Maybe he would give in
If your eyes looked extra sad

But sorry pal, Daddy’s not
As soft as he might seem.
He and Mummy made a vow
To do this as a team.

So now the both of us
Are vapid, mean and shallow.
All because I let you have
One fluffy white marshmallow.

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Booktober

I’ve decided that this month we’ll celebrate Booktober. Nothing too out of the ordinary around our house. Just a bit more of the usual hooray for books.

Specifically though, every Sunday I’ll have a list of seven of our favourite books with a particular theme. This will mean that we’ll end up with slightly more than a book a day for a month. If you want to start reading more with your little people, or are looking for new books to explore with your little readers, you’ll hopefully be able to find some inspiration in there somewhere. Or you could just take the whole list to the library and set the challenge of reading at least a book a day every day for a month.

Tomorrow we’ll kick off with our top 7 dinosaur books. It was always going to be dinosaurs. We’re a bit dino-crazy. If anyone has suggestions for other possible lists, please let me know.

Before we get underway with the books, I thought I’d re-share my post about why you should read to little children. It can usually be found over in our Reading Corner, along with an ever growing list of reviews of our favourite books.

READINGISFUNWhy you should read to little children

Lots of parenting advice that I have come across online, and even in published books, seems to be based on personal experience or anecdotal evidence. Never sing your child to sleep because my cousin’s friend’s mum sang him to sleep when he was a baby and now he’s 45 and she still needs to go around to his house every night to sing his bedtime lullaby. You don’t need to breastfeed your baby because my boss was only ever bottlefed and now she speaks six languages, is an Olympic athlete, runs a company with a multi-billion dollar turnover, and is just the nicest darn person you’ll ever meet.

That sort of thing.

Not that there’s anything wrong with this sort of sharing and learning. No doubt it has been pivotal for countless generations. The problem with this in our information age is that the wisdom is not just passed to us from those who know us best. Anyone who has ever had a child, or known a child, or been a child, seems to be able to call themselves a “parenting expert”. There are so many parenting experts and they are all shouting for attention, with confusingly different opinions on what is best.

Well, I’m definitely not a parenting expert. On a scale of expert to whatever the opposite of expert is, I’m definitely closer to the latter end. But I’m big on evidence-based policy. If a government is going to devote a lot of time and money to a particular issue, I want them to be basing those decisions on the results of rigorous research. Similarly, if I’m going to use a significant portion of the time that I get to spend with my babies while they’re small in a particular way, I want to make sure that the evidence supports that decision. I’m not going to spend everyday reading and re-reading picture books if there are better things I could be doing with my time.

So, I’ve read through some of the peer-reviewed research. I don’t claim this to be anywhere near an exhaustive review of the literature on this topic, but I did discover some good pointers so I’ll give you a bit of a summary. (Reading the whole articles was really interesting – I’ve listed the sources at the end in case you want to have a look at them!)DSCF4634

There was broad agreement in the literature that reading to babies, toddlers, and pre-schoolers is really important for a massive range of skills and attributes beyond language and literacy, to areas like problem solving, relationships, and social confidence. There is this from Murray and Egan:

Reading to young children has long been recognized as an important precursor to language and literacy development. It encourages vocabulary development, positive attitudes to reading as well as strengthening emotional ties between the child and parent. Reading to pre-school-age children can make starting school easier for them as well as providing a head start in literacy… Reading to young children also helps them to develop social skills such as listening and interacting with an adult. Pp.303-304

As well as this from Nyhout and O’Neill:

Exposure to rich narratives at an early age may be important for a range of different abilities, such as children’s later ability to build rich accounts of past events and their information recall, social functioning, and broader linguistic and cognitive abilities. p.128

However, an important part of what I discovered was that the key was not that children were read to, or rather read at, but that they were allowed and encouraged to be active participants, even when they were not yet able to speak. For example, Makin wrote:

There is a danger that parents and early childhood educators may accept the importance of reading to children but do so in ways that may have less than optimal results… If children are physically restrained or forced to remain on an adult’s lap for the time the adult deems appropriate, the experience is unlikely to be positive despite the physical closeness. p.275

Here’s a quick snapshot:

  • Books with no words are great
  • When a book has words, steering away from the text is great
  • Ask questions, point things out, relate stuff back to your child’s own life
  • If your little person is really not interested in reading right this second, don’t force the issue
  • Try to find books and reading styles that make the experience enjoyable for both of you
  • Start as early as possible in your child’s life and read often

Reading to my babies is one of the best parts of my day every day. I hope that by sharing the books we love, I can share that joy around. Happy reading!

Sources

Farrant B and Zubrick S (2013) Parent-Child Book Reading Across Early Childhood and Child Vocabulary in the Early School Years: Findings From the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children First Language 33(3) 280-293.

Fletcher K and Holmes W (2015) The Role of Book Familiarity and Book Type on Mothers’ Reading Strategies and Toddlers’ Responsiveness. Journal of Early Childhood Literacy 15(1): 73-96.

Makin L (2007) Literacy 8-12 Months: What Are Babies Learning? Early Years: An International Research Journal 26(3) 267-277.

Murray A and Egan S (2014) Does Reading to Infants Benefit Their Cognitive Development at 9-Months-Old? An Investigation Using a Large Birth Cohort Survey Child Language Teaching and Therapy 30(3) 303-315.

Nyhout A and O’Neill D (2013) Mothers’ Complex Talk When Sharing Books With Their Toddlers: Book Genre Matters First Language 33(2) 115-131.

Reese E, Sparks A and Leyva D (2010) A Review of Parent Interventions for Preschool Children’s Language and Emergent Literacy Journal of Early Childhood Literacy 10(1) 97-117.

Advice From The Heart
A Bit Of Everything



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Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

sisterhood

The delightful Lazy Housewife UK (less lazy, more lovely) has nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award. Many thanks! I can highly recommend her blog.

The award aims to forge connections between new bloggers and is passed on in a q&a format. The rules are:

  • Thank the blogger who gave you the award and link back to their blog.
  • Answer the 10 questions given to you.
  • Nominate 7 bloggers for the award.
  • Write 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
  • Display the award on your blog or post.

Here are my responses to the questions posed by The Lazy Housewife UK:

1. What is your favourite household chore?

I generally prefer taking on a managerial position. Luckily Pickles is very helpful around the house.

DSCF4620

2. What trait most annoys you in others?

It annoys me when people complain endlessly about their job, or some other aspect of their life, and take no action to make positive change.

3. Favourite book of all time?

This is a tricky one (I’ve had many favourites) but because of the “all time” element of the question, I’m going to go for Alice in Wonderland. It has brought me the most joy over the greatest number of years.

DSCF4634

4. What do you find most challenging about blogging?

It cuts into precious sleeping time. I’m hoping this becomes less of an issue as the little people become not quite so little!

5. How do you relax?

Reading. Preferably on a beach.

6. How do you manage your time (best time management tip)?

Don’t agree to do things that you don’t really want to do. When you start saying no to things that don’t fill your heart with happiness, you will have more time for the things that do.

7. Where is your favourite place for a last minute day out?

The library if it’s cold outside. Anywhere outside if it’s not!

8. Where is your dream holiday destination?

There was a time when I travelled widely and frequently. I’ve spent time living, working, volunteering, and studying in different cities and countries across the world. Culture, adventure, relaxation – I wanted it all!

Now, I want to know that my kids will have a great time. So probably Disneyland 🙂

9. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

Kylie Minogue. Unfortunately I can’t sing. Or dance. Or act. And no one wants to see me in hot pants.

10. If you could be an animal which one would you choose to be?

Hmmm… maybe a kangaroo so I could take my little people everywhere with me in my pouch.

kangaroo

My nominees are:

Musing Mumma

A Nightshade Dreamer

Maybe Baby Brothers and Me

Threesy Peasy

The Ridiculous Mrs H

The Perfect Blend

Diamonds and Dudas

Questions for my nominees:

  1. What was your favourite book as a child?
  2. If you could meet a character from a book, who would it be?
  3. If you were a genre of music, what would it be?
  4. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
  5. Name some of the things that bring you joy.
  6. What time of the day do you find most productive for blogging?
  7. What is your favourite season?
  8. What song (or songs) would be on the soundtrack of your life right now?
  9. If you could live one day of your life again, which would you choose?
  10. If you could travel to any moment in history, where would you go?

 

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